the "mom friend" : by amy

The majority of my college friends are still single-- very common for the average young adult living in the city.   But here I am, living in the suburbs, married for 4 years and with a 16 month old toddler.  Life is very different.  I don't get invited to all of the late-night birthday parties and hang-outs (unless it's for a really close friend), which is totally understandable.  I've come to accept that I am now the "mom friend" among my group of college girlfriends.  Does it bother me?  No, not really-- it is what it is.  They don't treat me any differently though we are in totally different life stages.  Actually, I kinda like hanging out with my college friends not only because they're my good friends, but it's also refreshing to not have half of the conversation be about kids or babies (although I thoroughly enjoy talking about kids and babies with other ummas).

There's a recent episode of "Up All Night" (I <3 this show) where Reagan (Christina Applegate's character) realizes that she is Ava's "mom friend," and that she's missing out on the yoga classes, impromptu Vegas trips and late-night club outings.  She's no longer the go-to "cool and always available to hang-out" friend.  It kind of resonated with me because it reminded me of a recent surprise birthday that I was accidentally not invited to.  I remember accepting the situation as a simple mishap but I also naturally assumed that it may have been because I've become the "mom friend."  Oh, that girl that lives in the suburbs and goes to bed by 10pm?  Yeah, she's the "mom friend."  She probably won't come out anyway.

FYI, with plenty of advanced notice (and caffeinated drinks), we WILL come out to hang out with our non-mom friends!  And if you invite me to Bukhara Grill for the lunch buffet, I will try even harder to make it out! ;)

first christmas : by jean

this was our first christmas with miles, and it had me thinking back on what christmas was like for me when i was a kid.

i remember i believed in santa claus up until the 2nd grade.  we had a fake tree in our living room/my bedroom with wrapped gifts underneath.  i distinctively remember the year when i found out santa wasn't real.  there was a gift that was wrapped with the SAME wrapping paper my mom had in her room,  and of course i asked, "umma, how does santa have the same wrapping paper as you?"  i must have taken her by surprise because she decided right there and then to crush my dreams and tell me there was no santa claus.  boo.

how did you grow up knowing or not knowing about santa?  do you know when and how you'll reveal the truth to your kids?

a scene from my all time favorite xmas movie: Elf

hope you all had a great christmas!

picky : by jean

lately, miles has been VERY picky with what he eats and how it's fed to him.  i can be feeding him the same piece of fish using chopsticks, but then if i switch and use a spoon, he won't open his mouth.  i would tell him, "miles, its the SAME thing, look!" and proceed to show him how i'm transferring from chopsticks to a spoon or vice versa, but still, no opening of the mouth.

i mean, seriously?!  i can't deal!  AND sometimes he just doesn't feel like eating what i feed him, but if i give him something to play with to occupy him and feed him, he'll eat. WTH?!  overall, he's a pretty good eater but man, some days i really lose my patience!  giving him a spoon or teething toy to play with while feeding, or if nothing else works, turning on sesame street usually helps.

what are some ways you guys get your kids to eat?

Mommy in the mirror : by amy

My Facebook news feed was overflowing with "RIP Newtown" updates, photos of the victims, and anti-gun propaganda.  In the midst of it all, this article caught my eye: I am Adam Lanza's Mother.  If you haven't read it yet, please stop to do so now.

The tragedy in Newtown has taken an emotional toll on me.  I watch Logan in awe as he plays with his boxes and dances joyfully to Vince Guaraldi's Linus and Lucy.  But I can't help but feel scared.  I know the world is a far scarier place today than it was when I was growing up.  Sexting.  Creepers on social media.  Sandusky.  Massacres.  I remember praying fervently everyday during Logan's first few months, asking God to help me raise Logan well and to do the "right" thing.  Now, I pray fervently for God's healing on the world so that the community can raise future generations well.

As President Obama reminded us, we have a communal responsibility to raise our children.  It reminded me of when Logan was baptized.  Our pastor asked the congregation to stand and make a commitment to help raise Logan in the church.  Being a parent has already stretched my heart for children beyond my own-- and I always thought I'd be one of those parents who only really cared for her own kid!  After the tragic events in Newtown, it's convicted me even more to take on a greater responsibility to pray and serve our children.

In the wise words of Michael Jackson, make a change.

why? : by jean

i missed my post on Thursday due to my bag being stolen right in front of miles' daycare center. it was my fault for leaving my bag on the stroller while i ran in to get miles. it was my normal routine which i will never repeat again. i thought my neighborhood was "safe," but i guess one can never be safe enough. and yes, it's my fault for leaving it out, but i never thought it would get stolen within 10 mins. what bothers me more is that it seems like it was some kids in the neighborhood who took my bag since they tried to spend $150 at dominos pizza. Ugh.

and then the shooting in CT happened on Friday. i was feeding miles this morning and watched the continuous coverage on the shooting. i know my stolen bag is obviously nothing compared to what happened in CT, but why is there so much evil around us? are we ever safe? how can we ever send our kids to daycare, school, camp, without ever worrying?

it gives me chills just reading and watching the clips on the incident. i can't imagine what these families must be going through. how do you ever recover from something like that? how do you explain to your kids what happened, and the biggest question of all, why?

and why are these kids being interviewed about what happened? clearly something awful happened. they are young and innocent and should not be asked to relive that moment in tv.

my co-worker and i were overwhelmed with emotion as we watched President Obama give his speech on Friday. i definitely hugged Miles a little tighter last night when i put him to bed.

our hearts go out to all the families in Newtown.

the winner!

Sorry for the delay, folks-- we've got full time jobs too!

But, we've selected our first and second prize winners for our first giveaway!  Before we announce the winners, we just wanted to give y'all a big THANK YOU for submitting your photos and participating!  It was fun seeing baby-versions of mommies and daddies along with their mini-me's.  We wished we could've picked more than 2 winners.  We hope to do more giveaways in the future, so keep on reading!

OK, now, what you've all been waiting for...

Our second place winners of the lovely blue Lollacup are Lara and her beauty, Sage!  OK, so their hair color isn't the same, but their smiles and facial features (not to mention scantily clad-ness!) are definitely similar.

Our grand-prize, first place winners of the Lollacup gift set are Soo-Kyung and her son, Elijah!  Who knew that mom and son could look so similar?

Congrats again to our winners~!  Hope the babes enjoy sipping on their Lollacups!  BIG shout out to the Lollacup crew for hooking us up with the giveaway!

our first giveaway!!

tis the season to give, so thanks to lollacup, we are giving out some goodies!

lollacup is an infant/toddler straw sippy cup that is BPA-free, phthalate-free and made in the USA!  It's valve-free, weighted straw allows infants as young as 9 months old to easily and effectively drink from a straw, even if the cup is tilted.

miles tried lollacup right around 9 months!

how can you get your hands on one of these?

submit a photo of your baby and a baby photo of you or your spouse.  whichever pair (baby and baby version of parent) looks most alike will win....drumroll, please...

A NEW CAR!
just kidding.

a lollacup gift set!  the gift set includes a tote bag, bib, extra straw, cleaning brush, letterpressed notecards, and of course, a lollacup.

runner up will receive a lollacup for good effort.

submit your photos by Friday 3pm to umma.etc@gmail.com

good luck and thanks lollacup!

your attention, please : by amy

Lately, Logan's been...irritable.  He is still his silly self 90% of the time, but something is off.  He showed sudden and extreme separation anxiety on Sunday when we dropped him off at the nursery-- vomiting and clingy-ness.  He's been having mini-meltdowns on the kitchen floor.  He's been grabbing my hand and demanding that I follow his orders, "or else" (i.e. mini-meltdown).

Is it because he had 3 shots on Friday?  Is it because his molars are coming in?  Is it because I'm working too much??  (haha, I always use this as an excuse...see past blog post).  Are these the terrible-not-even-twos??  Whatever it is, it's been sort of sucking.  

So, how does one respond to this whacky behavior?  Most of the time, I show tough love and am not afraid to use say "NO," or "Mmm Mmm! *shaking head*" or bust out the hissing Korean sound.  If he's being crabby on the kitchen floor for no valid reason, I typically leave him alone.  I'm not going to let him fool me with his dog and pony show!  I'll show him who's the real boss in this house!

Right?

Or, am I supposed to look at him in the eye and say, "Logan, I can see you are very upset right now.  Can you please try to understand that although I want to play with you, I need to finish preparing your dinner?"  Or, should I pick him up and give him hugs to make him feel better?  (btw, my hugs don't seem to calm him down).  Or, should I give in because maybe this is his way of telling me "MOM, you spend all day at the office.  I want you to play with me NOW"?  Man, he's so good at guilt-tripping me...

I think the answer is sort of a mix of all of the above.  Sometimes, if Logan is acting up, I'll tell him, "Logan, I know you are mad, but I need to finish what I'm doing.  You have to WAIT.  Please wait for umma."  Then, I'll let him scream and cry.  He typically gets over it once the next distraction comes around.  Not sure if this is the "right" thing to do, but it's what I do.  

How do you ummas deal with difficult toddler behavior?