7.17.2013

still talking about sleep! : by jean

Yes, more on sleep.  My last posts were on sleep (here and here) and we need to talk more about it.

A couple of weeks ago, we decided we couldn't do this any longer.  Ever since Miles started his sleep regression, the only way to get him to sleep was for one of us to stay in the room with him so he sees that we are RIGHT by him.  From my research, it said that these sleep regressions go on from 2-6 weeks.  It's been a month and it hasn't been getting much better.  So we decided to start the dreaded CIO session again.  I blame my mom for his sleep regression.  She visited and stayed with us for almost 3 weeks and during that time she would give me the evil eye whenever I would let Miles cry when I put him down to sleep.  I think Miles also felt the "grandma vibe" because I swear he started this regression on the first night she was home.  She denies giving me ANY looks but is glad she isn't here for the CIO sessions.  Remember, DON'T fall into grandma pressure!

If you read my post from way back on our original sleep training, CIO was hard but it worked well.  I had Miles sleeping from 7:30-7:30 almost every night.  We would do our bedtime routine, put him down in his crib and walk out.  Sometimes he would whine, cry, fuss here and there but nothing more than 5 minutes.  Now, it was time to re-sleep train.

Day 1:
Sunday night, we had gotten home a bit later than we had liked so Miles was already dozing off a bit in the car.  I didn't want to move him after he fell asleep so I kept him awake.  We did the same bedtime routine, put him in his crib and walked out.  He laid down for a good 30 seconds and then the crying/screaming started.  It lasted for 22 minutes.  My stomach was in knots.  Something about this time around was harder than before.  Perhaps because he was more aware of what was going on, and I was I worried I was traumatizing him.

Day 2:
13 minutes.
I couldn't stay to hear him cry again, so I took a shower while the roommate monitored him.

Day 3:
22 minutes
I went to the supermarket during that time and got some ice cream (ice cream is a great way to comfort yourself during CIO sessions).

Day 4:
Started crying even before I left the room. 4 mins of crying and then sat in his crib for about 15 minutes as if he was pondering what he should do next...and then finally, he laid down.

Day 5:
3 mins of crying standing up and then settled down for a bit, sitting down and sucking on his fingers, but then started crying again 30 seconds later.  He cried for about 2 more minutes and then just stayed seated in the corner of the crib right by the door.  By minute 15, he was finally laying down.  Not too bad. He only really cried for about 4-5 mins total!

Day 6:
10 mins of crying and then sitting down by the corner and down to sleep.

Day 7:
1 min of crying and then another minute of sitting by the corner and then laid down!!

Day 8:
4 mins of crying and then laid down.  But then sat up and cried for almost 30 minutes. UGH.  I thought we were on the right track...

Day 9:
30 seconds of crying and then laid down.  HOORAY!

Day 10:
Less than a minute of crying and then sleep position.

Day 11:
10 seconds of crying and then sleep position.

Day 12:
10 seconds of crying, then in sleep position.  randomly started crying again about 15 mins later, cried for another 10 seconds or less, sat down for a sec and back down in sleep position.

I think we are finally onto something.  He cries but stops after a few seconds and gets right into his sleeping position.  Re-training took almost 2 weeks!  I really thought he was just going to remember to go back to sleep on his own again like they say with sleep regressions, but I think he needed a little more push.

Miles also had a couple of episodes where he woke up in the middle of the night or would wake up around 4am and wouldn't go back to sleep.  Cranky baby + cranky parents isn't a good combo. Thankfully, now that he is somewhat back to his normal sleeping habits, waking up in the middle of night or waking up WAY too early is no long occurring.  YAY!

Turns out, Logan had a stint of sleep regression just recently too! (He is approaching 24 months).  We (Jean and Amy) literally texted each other every night when the kids were going to bed to update each other on the progress.  It's so great having friends who are going through what you are going through. :)   Here is Amy's experience:

Day 1:
Saturday night, we put him down after our normal bedtime routine, and he started crying after we closed the door.  Hmm, that's strange...maybe he pooped?  So I went in to check on him, but no poopie diaper.  I put him back in the crib and walked out.  More crying.  I let it go for 15 minutes.  Maybe he just wasn't tired?  But it was already past 8pm.  So I went back in and held him/soothed him.  I put him back in the crib and rocked in the rocking chair in his room.  He cried and fussed but eventually calmed down.  He looked at me often-- I pretended to be sleeping in the chair so not to re-engage with him.  After 45 minutes and a lot of yawning and eye-rubbing, I was pretty sure he was laying down and getting ready to fall asleep, so I tried to slip away...BIG MISTAKE!  He immediately got up and started screaming bloody murder again!  What happened to my sleep-trained child!?  It was now past 9pm, and I knew Logan needed to go to bed.  I remembered what a friend said once: when they regress, nip it in the bud early before you start letting things slip and build bad habits.  So, we let him cry it out.  I sat at the bottom of the staircase listening to every excruciating cry to see if he would vomit.  After about an hour of crying, Logan had finally gone to bed.  No vomitting, phew!

Day 2: It's Sunday night, which means work for us and school for Logan the next day, which means-- baby needs to sleep!!  But he ate a very late dinner, and I was afraid he would vomit in bed during CIO, so I laid on the floor next to his crib until he fell completely asleep, which was around 8:30pm. 

Day 3: OK, time to be strong.  We're going to CIO tonight.  Husband and I knew what to expect.  It lasted 66 minutes.  I will admit it's easier to sit through it when you're resolute on not going back up.  We also re-set our monitor so we were able to watch for any vomitting.

Day 4: 63 minutes!  And no vomit.

Day 5: 27 minutes!!  Progress!

Day 6: No tears!  I didn't bother watching him on the monitor.  I don't care what he's doing in the crib as long as he's not crying.  I also put a new book in his crib, which perhaps helped distract him.

Day 7: No tears again!  We put Elmo in his bed too, so he had a new sleep buddy to entertain him.

Fortunately, our re-sleep training took only a week.  He's been sleeping through the night every night with the exception of one (seemed like he had a bad dream).

In the end,  CIO isn't easy.  Not only do you have to make sure your child is ready for it, YOU have to be ready for it AND you and your partner have to be on the same page.  If one of you can't bear to listen, go take a long shower, or go out for a walk.  It was really torture for me to sit at home and listen him cry in our tiny apt.

Thankfully, both Logan and Miles are back to sleeping normally again.