becoming "that" parent : by amy

Since becoming a parent, I've learned many lessons, but one that I constantly remind myself of is this: Sometimes you just have to throw out the books and do what works for you and your child.  Just do your best-- that's all you can do.

Seriously, as a non-parent, it is so easy to point the finger-of-judgment and say,

I can't believe she's not breastfeeding.

I won't do that when my child acts up.

I won't let my child eat that, only this.

I can't believe she's letting her child just scream and cry.

I'm not going to make my kids "clingy"

I'm not going to be a "helicopter mom"

I won't let my child walk out of the house looking like that.

I won't let my house look like that when we have kids.

I won't get all of those toys for my kids.

I'm not going to let my kid get hooked on the pacifier.

Hell, it even happens before you even have the kid!

I'm not going to eat or drink that when I'm pregnant.

I can't believe she let herself go like that--I'm not going to gain as much weight as she did during pregnancy.

I'm not going to put that on my registry.

Come on, we've all said or thought one of these things at least once, and we all got our butts kicked with a big helping of in-your-face! after we became parents, right?  No matter what you read online and in the books, the one thing you know for sure is that your child is different from "that" child.  Your circumstances are different from "that" family's.  And if people want to judge you for it, then let them.  I can't say that I personally always let it go, but I try.

Case in point: We had a crazy, fun-filled weekend.  By Sunday late-afternoon, the husband and I were ZAPPED.  For 5-10 minutes, we just laid on the play mat completely exhausted while Logan circled around us, climbed on top of us, dug every toy out of his bin, stomped around the house dropping toys and dish towels in various corners of the house, and pretty much turned our 1st floor upside down.  After our respite, we stood up and evaluated the damage:  Our house had turned into "that" house-- the house with toys strewn on the floor in several rooms.  Aside from that, our kitchen counters showed remnants of the weekend-- counters covered with food, snacks and dirty dishes and a pile of bottles and sippy cup parts.  We looked at each other in defeat and dismay, took a swig of black coffee, and started cleaning.  Yeah, we let our house become "that" house. I decided that it's OK if it happens once in awhile because, let's face it-- it's impossible to have a spic n' span house when you've got a toddler trolling the house.  On the other hand, my husband didn't exactly agree since he is a clean-freak.  We will just work harder to keep the house neat and tidy because it matters to us him.

Thank God the cleaning lady is coming this weekend.

Have you found yourself becoming "that" parent?