separation : by jean

I'm sitting in a cafe enjoying an iced coffee and a chocolate croissant waiting for 5 o'clock to come around.  Miles is at his new daycare center for 2 hours today before starting full time next week.  It's a weird feeling to be by myself without Miles, waiting for time to go by instead of racing home.

I got a job.  Well, two jobs.  One is a freelance gig that will last for 5 weeks, 4 days a week.  Another is a part time gig that will for now be 1 day a week for the first 5 weeks and then become 2-3 days a week thereafter.  Eventually it will turn into a full time position, which means I will be a legit full-time working mom and no longer be collecting unemployment (read about Amy's experience and about that article!).

I went in for the interviews on Wednesday and got the good news on Thursday that I'd be starting on Monday.  I was so excited but terrified at the same time.  Daycare?  Nanny?  Nanny-share?  Yikes!  I immediately started calling around the daycare centers within a 5 block radius to our apartment.  I had already visited places before so I knew my top choices, but every place was full.  I even called places that were further away and not ideal, but I was desperate.  I started thinking about nanny-shares but knew I didn't really have enough time to set something up right away.  A friend of ours had a nanny that had watched a Miles a few times who was available but she was an expensive option.  I also wanted him to be with other kids so a private nanny wasn't necessarily the best solution for the long term.

I panicked.  I put up a posting on Park Slope Parents, a great resource for parents who live in Park Slope.  Someone (who now is my savior) gave me information about a daycare a little further away.  She told me it wasn't really advertised-- more of a word-of-mouth type of place. "Park Slope's best kept secret" is what she said.  The woman said she didn't have family nearby, so the daycare center became a part of her family.  She even had her daughter stay there for a few nights when she was in labor with her son.  I had to check it out.  When I walked inside, I felt like I was at a relative's house. Park Slope has a lot of home daycare centers where they rent an apartment to run a daycare center, but this was actually someone's home.  I met two other moms while I was there who came to pick up their daughters.  One had her daughter going there since she was 2 months old (and she is now 2 years old).  She said it was the best decision she ever made.  The caretakers were warm and friendly, and the kids were very happy.  The kids got hugs and kisses before they left.  I spoke to 3 moms, and they all used the same word: family.  That was reassuring.

So it's been about an hour since I dropped him off for his 2-hour stint.  I decided to call and check in.  They said he cried a few times but only for a minute and that he's ok right now.  He just prefers to be held at the moment.  I know he's in good hands and that he'll be fine, but man, it's nerve wrecking!  I'm not even nervous about the two new jobs I am starting next week because I'm so nervous about how Miles will be.   My friend says that's called parenting.   I guess I am really a parent.

By the time I publish this post, it will have been Day 3 for Miles at daycare.  Hopefully I will have survived!
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Update!  Today is Miles' third day at daycare.  I've been calling once a day just to check in.  He's been taking all of his naps, he plays really well, and he has adjusted really quickly so I have nothing to worry about.  I guess he's doing great, but it's been really sad only being able to see him for a couple of hours everyday.  This is constant struggle for working moms (and dads) everywhere. :(

It's been nice to go back to work and interact with adults, but it really sucks only being able to see Miles for a few hours a day  (Did I already say that?  Like just two sentences ago?  Yeah, I know.  It really sucks.)   Does it have to be this way?  Ugh!  Is there a profession where you can really balance work and life better?

Have you heard?  Yahoo! hired their new CEO.  She's 6 months pregnant.  It's a boy.  It'll be interesting to see how she will juggle her new role as a CEO-mom.

In the meantime, how do you moms (and dads) do it?  How do you balance it all?  Are you like me and look through your baby's pics and videos randomly throughout the day?