yes, they are.
at least with girls, they know what they want but they just don't want to tell you -- you need to figure it out. sorry ladies, but that's kinda true sometimes...isn't it? :p
when it comes to babies, not only can they not communicate clearly with us, but sometimes it seems like they don't even know what they want!
are you tired? ok, take a nap.
still crying? maybe you're hungry? ok, drink up.
no? you want the pacifier instead? ok, here.
no, not that either? back to the bottle? fine.
what?! you just want to suck your fingers instead?
it's sometimes so hard to figure him out!
you think you know, and then he throws a curveball!
i recently started reading the book "bringing up bebe"
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| bringing up bebe $16 @ barnes and noble |
i started to laugh out loud when she talked about going on the "is it safe" column on babycenter.com. i don't know about you, but within a few weeks of finding out that i was pregnant, that column was bookmarked on my computer at work, home, and on my phone! i was constantly looking up "is it safe?"
so far, the book is a fun read with some tips that i think can work for miles. i think the part about understanding your baby's rhythm was a great point. so many times i hear or read about these methods that can work for my baby. sometimes i'm too eager to try them out without observing and figuring out my baby's rhythm first. when amy told me that logan was sleeping on his own early on, i was ready to try it with miles when he was around 8 weeks old. um, FAIL! it did not go well. he cried for over 30 mins, turning purple, tears, snot coming out, and i thought he was going to pop a blood vessel from screaming/crying. i recently tried it again (2 months later), and it's been going great! i now realize that even though I was ready for him to do it on his own when he was 8 weeks old, he wasn't (lots more on sleep coming up later).
so in some ways, figuring out a baby is like going on a first date with a girl and trying to figure her out.
do you want me to walk you home? you're ok? oh its close by? ok then.
wait, are you really ok or am i supposed to still walk you home?....
you're really, REALLY ok? ok great.
good night.
(we all know the guy should still have walked her home. duh.)
there's a great quote at the end of the NYTimes book review:
"In the end, do the French do it better than Americans? Giving birth and raising children is messy and confusing in any society. It’s perpetual trial and error — whether in France or in the United States. Unlike a car, a baby doesn’t come with a user’s manual."
this is what amy and i say all the time. why can't there be ONE manual that works for ALL babies?
:)
have you read "bringing up bebe"?
what did you think?
Yoonha and I bought it lays year when it first came out bc the sneak peak totally captured our eyes... At the time we were having very hard time with their eating habits well at least for me. Out of desperation I bought them. I still haven't read much of it yet but Yoonha did. Hope she can respond to your post. But I do agree that it's a trial and error and moms need to do what works for them and for their babies. Unfortunately there is no no cookie cutter method. I wish there was one. But having a friend with a baby in a similar age as yours makes a world of a difference for me. For that I thank my buddy Yoonha Kim. This journey could have been so much harder without her. And it's been so far very fun and encouraging. And I see that you and Amy have the same kind of friendship! So I have no doubt that you guys will have so much fun with this. Hahaha. I have so much more to say about the book and the critiques it received (I read so many articles about it) but I will stop here. Maybe we can talk about it in person or over the phone. Thanks for sharing, jean.
ReplyDeletesay more! we would love to hear!
ReplyDeleteif not, call me up anytime. you know how to find me. ;)
hm... i wrote a whole comment and have no idea what happened to it. Oops!
ReplyDeleteanyhow, i agree with SK and right back at you! i think if it was not for us going through this time together, it would have been much harder. Having the support from older children mothers is great but there was something about sharing with someone who is in similar shoes very encouraging.
So i read about 90% of the book. For the most part, it is a very easy read. It gives great perspective that American culture tends to be one that is very obsessive and your sense of self becomes all about your kid and nothing but your kid. American culture fosters obsessiveness in general, i think. While it is very important to shift you priorities now that you are a parents, i think there is a lot to learn from the French culture about not being so crazy, exercising your authority as a parent (not necessarily a disciplinarian but being confident in your role as a parent), etc. I think it is very important for kids to "free" within safe boundaries.
Honestly the reason why i have not been able to finish the book is that i just felt like the author bashed american culture too much. I appreciated her pointed but it was too much of "french are great and american's suck". Perhaps in the end of the book she will say something that will completely change the tone of the book, but i just found it to be kind of annoying after a while. I think i would have appreciated the book much more if the tone was different.
With that being said, now that I am seasoned mom of a toddler (haha!) i realize how one parents has a lot to do with how one handles life in general. There will always be one area for your child that you are completed obsessed by (for me, sleeping.. it always throws me for a loop when she doesn't sleep well, even now i am watching her trying to fall asleep and i find myself tense without even realizing it!). At the end of the day, sam & i talk about wanting to be more French then american, not to freak out so much and let her be. It is okay if they cry, it is okay if they get frustrated, it is all part of the learning process... but of course, much easier said then done!
amy/jean - keep this up!! they are fun to read =)
yoonha,
Deletei agree.
i just finished there is a bit too much about the french did it this way, why do americans do it that way..
there's definitely some great tips to take from the book and it was a fun read for sure.
i think in the end, so much of it is about perspective!