10.28.2013

the big change / baby brother : by amy

I know it's been over 7 weeks since I lasted blogged.  When I'm not feeding the baby or cleaning around the house, I had to make the decision if I should sleep, eat or blog during my "free" time-- sleep was typically my first choice :P.

I know my next "big change" post was supposed to be about transitioning to the twin size bed, but turns out, the transition was pretty anti-climatic and not really blog-post-worthy on its own.  In a nutshell, we purchased his bed right before his sleep regression incident, so decided to hold off on transitioning until maybe a couple of months after the baby brother arrived.  But one Saturday night in July, I went out to a birthday dinner in the city, and Logan decided he wanted OUT of the crib!  This wasn't completely surprising to us because a few weeks before this, he decided he didn't want to sleep in the crib at grandma's house either.  She made a bed for him on the floor with a bunch of comforters/thick blankets, and that's where he prefers to sleep now.  Anyway, after 2 hours of crying (and what we dreaded was yet another sleep regression cycle...), Logan dragged dad into his new room where his new bed awaited for months.  He and dad hopped in and both fell asleep in the bed.  There was no turning back after that-- every night, we did our same bedtime routine, but let him climb into his new bed which was filled with "friends" and plenty of books.  He never comes out of the bed at night, nor does he come out in the morning when he wakes up-- he just "reads" in bed and waits for one of us to come in.  Seems like an easy transition, right?  Yeah, I thought so too.  I'll take it.


So what other big changes happened in Logan's/my life?  I had another baby!  Charlie's arrival to the world was 5 days early.  The experience was far less painful and more pleasant than my labor with Logan, which was induced and drawn out.  I was 4 cm dilated by the time I arrived at the hospital, and I probably could've had the baby within the next 3 hours after arriving, but my epidural slowed things down, which was fine with me since I got to sleep for 2-3 hours before pushing and changing my life again forever.


After only 15 minutes of pushing, little Charlie made his way into the world, weighing 6 pounds, 10 ounces and 19 inches long-- significantly smaller than his big brother who was 8 pounds, 2 ounces and 21 inches long!  I was pretty strict with my diet after being diagnosed with gestational diabetes, so that affected Charlie's size, but I've been plumping him up pretty quickly!  Let me tell you-- it is FAR easier to push out a 6-7 pound baby than an 8 pound baby!  Your vagina and body will thank you if you control your diet during pregnancy!  I'm sure it was also easier this time around since it was my second, but I definitely learned about the consequences of a good diet during pregnancy.

We tried to prepare Logan for his baby brother's arrival as best as we could-- we would talk about the baby, he would hug and kiss "baby" (my stomach), and he got a book about being a big brother.  When Logan visited the hospital for the first time, he was interested in the baby for about 10 seconds and then decided the hospital room's furniture was more interesting to play on.  Our entire family made sure to shower Logan with extra love and attention during these past 7 weeks. He does get bouts of jealousy which manifest themselves through silence and avoiding eye contact with whoever is holding the baby.  And until just recently, he would whine and get upset if dad held Charlie, but these days, he's been more mellow.  But generally, I think our approach and Logan's reaction has been pretty good.  We encourage Logan to help during diaper changes and feedings so he can feel involved.  Logan is very affectionate with Charlie and gets concerned (shows his sad face) when he hears Charlie crying ("baby cry-in. [finds baby monitor] "baby!?").

Learning to be gentle with baby Charlie

Logan loves to give kisses to baby Charlie
I also don't immediately drop everything to attend to Charlie when he starts crying, especially if I'm spending time with Logan.  I do this for three reasons - 1) Charlie just has to deal with the fact that I cannot always come to him immediately-- sorry, 2nd born!  2) I also give him the opportunity to calm himself down if I don't think he's crying out of hunger.  3) During these early transitional times, I don't want Logan to think that Charlie is always stealing me away from him whenever he cries.  So if Charlie starts crying, Logan first acknowledges it ("baby cry-in."), and I will calmly say Yes, Charlie's crying, but it's OK-- umma will go get him soon.  I'll wait a minute or so (also based on timing, like if it was a really short nap, I'll wait to see if Charlie can calm himself down), and then give Logan the head's up that I'll be right back.

Speaking of crying, I have definitely been letting Charlie cry more than I did with Logan.  And I came to a recent epiphany: I think a reason why Logan was such a terrible napper during his pre-sleep-training days was because I never gave him a chance to learn how to settle himself, i.e. let him cry longer.  Whenever he woke up from his 10-15 minute naps, I would immediately pick him up and think that was the end of his nap.  I guess a first-time-mom rookie mistake?  But with Charlie, often because I have no choice since I'm attending to Logan, I'll let him cry, and maybe after 10 minutes, he'll be able to go back to sleep.  Charlie is also less sensitive to the sounds of our old creaky house (as I had complained about in this post), probably because he had to sleep through Logan's shenanigans during the first month when we had him sleeping/napping downstairs in our office next to the dining room.  And, one of the best differences (which I hope doesn't change) is that unlike Logan during this age, Charlie can fall and stay asleep on his own without me having to hold him all the time.  I've been very conscientious about this-- I hold/rock Charlie until he gets very drowsy/falling asleep, and then I put him down, even if he's sort of awake.  He will sometimes cry when I put him down, but I won't pick him back up (cruel, I know) because I know he is tired.  After 10-15 minutes of crying, he will go to sleep.  Thus far, Charlie has been a much better napper than Logan.  He's OK at night-- doing 4-5 hour stretches right now at 7 weeks.  Logan was doing 8-9 hour stretches at this time, but that's probably because he napped horribly during the day!  Anyway, I'm hoping that when I truly sleep-train Charlie (if I need to), it will be a less painful process since I'm already having him get used to these certain circumstances.


Charlie at 7 weeks
The super-exhausting days are now turning into just regular exhausting days now that I weaned and Charlie is sleeping for 4-hour stretches at night, so hopefully I can blog a bit more regularly.  In the mean time... sweet dreams!

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