thank you, California : by amy

As some of you know, our family went through quite an adventure over the past year.  While our adventure was for my husband's job, it became one of the best things to happen to me and my work situation (among other areas of my life too!).

Back in February 2014, I returned to work after my maternity leave.  I was now juggling 2 kids with my very-full-time job.  I still had the same support systems in place, but I felt like I was just hanging by a thread.  I was technically getting everything done in my life, but I just wasn't satisfied with the quality of my time spent at both home and work.  Honestly, when I look back, I think having a full-time nanny (that cooked and drove) would probably have been the best type of help to meet our demands but my husband and I just couldn't get comfortable with a stranger being in my house all day with my kids or driving my kids around town.  And the major killer was my commute: 1 hour each way.  I wasted 10 hours a week on the road.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I only saw the kids for about 45-60 min. a day, and I was usually feeding, cleaning, dressing and chaffeuring them for that entire hour.  I knew it was going to be rough during these years, and I managed to accept it and just deal with it after my first one was born.  But after the second one, I was genuinely unhappy.  I asked my bosses if they would let me work one day a week from home....and they said no.  And I tried hard to see it from their eyes: they didn't want to set a precedent (I work with a bunch of men), and maybe I would miss out on some important business conversations that happen around my desk that day (...like what's for lunch :P)  but come on - one stinking day a week!.  We have email and phones!  Anyway, the funny part was that after they denied my request, we happened to have a snowstorm once a week for the next 3-4 weeks, and I ended up working from home 1 day/week for about a month.  God's funny like that.

So, now I was discouraged and a bit resentful.  My husband and I had been contemplating a big change/decision to move to California since Christmas, and while we were leaning towards doing it, my rejection of this 1-day/week proposal was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I decided to quit my job and move to California.  My colleagues were understanding of my decision, and I was frank about my struggles and disappointment because these were people I had worked with for over 8 years.  But during one of my discussions with a male colleague, I was explaining how there were things that I wanted to do and be there for as the mother of my children, and my commute and work circumstances were just denying me the chance to do that sufficiently, like real home-cooked meals once in awhile, spending quality time with them before they go to bed and just generally BEING THERE.  And do you know what he said?  He said this:

Well, you know Amy, if your financial situation can support it, I would highly suggest you hire people to do what you need done, like cooking, cleaning and driving the kids around. 

*SHAKING MY HEAD.*  OK first, I do have a cleaning person that comes twice a month, so yes, I've outsourced that, but that's mostly b/c my husband is semi-OCD and doesn't accept my cleaning standards.  But I JUST told you that I (me personally!) want to take a more active, physical and emotional role in my child's life aside from paying for his bills. *sigh* I know he was just trying to help.......

So we did the California thing-- lived the laid-back life, soaked up the sun, ate some acai bowls and mexcian food, got addicted to Cardio Barre classes...and then came back to the east coast a little sooner than planned.  But our life in California was just the kick-in-the-pants I needed to slow down and enjoy my family.  It humbled me because I no longer had a six-figure salary or a cushy bonus to rely on-- and that was honestly hard for me.  I somehow managed to keep working part-time while in California, but only 10 hours a week, so my salary was enough to buy the groceries each month :P  But I was finally able to be WITH my kids....and in beautiful southern California!  In the midst of the other crazy stuff going on with my husband's job situation, I was learning to be happy with less.  I was also cooking more and learning to be more efficient with our money.  I even saw a difference in my relationship with my kids. I started to feel way more in-tune with them than I did when I was full-time working.  I realized this sacrifice was worth it and was so thankful we had the balls to make this move.

And you know, God continued to provide for us when we moved back to NJ.  I am miraculously still working part-time (!!) with my same team.  This is a bit unreal considering part-time was a big NO-NO in my business.  I can't really explain how this started and even continued after I moved back to NJ -- it really is God's grace and providing the right circumstances at the right times.  Now that I'm back in NJ, I work 25 hours/week-- 5 hours a day.  I commute into the office 3 days a week and work 2 days from home.  It is my dream work situation and I have ZERO interest to go back to work full time.  I still get to interact with my colleagues who I really enjoy, but I also have the flexibility to eat breakfast with my kids, pick them up at a reasonable hour and make dinners for them.  The days are still incredibly busy and jam-packed.  I'm basically a chaffeur with a paying job in between drives, so time management is still key here.  But this is the kind of work-life balance that I've been dreaming of.  My part-time situation isn't permanent, but I am thankful to have it and will hope to do it for as long as they let me.  My part-time role is different from what I was doing-- I'm no longer leading or delegating major projects, but instead, doing side projects and in more of a supporting role.  Sometimes I struggle with my ambition to be and do more (and to make more $$$), but my husband has been really great at keeping me grounded and reminding me of how awesome my balance is now versus pre-California.  There may be a time and place for more focus on work/career in the future, but my priority is different right now.

I came across this article the other day about a women-led law firm that let's partners be parents.  So amazing!  Hope these women are able to keep doing what they do!

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/03/business/a-woman-led-law-firm-that-lets-partners-be-parents.html?_r=0

being a working-stay-at-home-mom (WSAHM) : by amy

I'm taking 5 months of maternity leave-- did the same with Logan, but I'm enjoying my leave much more the second time around.  Logan is going to day care full-time, so that leaves me with just one child at home to look after for most of the day which is a total luxury!  Logan gets to be engaged with music, books, outdoors play and socialize all day, and I get to take a productive "break" during the day when Charlie is napping.  ("break"= shower, eating, tidying up the house, laundry, cooking) This is a totally different stay-at-home experience than I had with Logan.  But there is one thing I learned about myself this time around: I am a very expensive stay-at-home-mom.

What do I mean exactly?  Learning from my first maternity leave, I know I can't stay in the house all day.  I need to go out at least once a day.  Fortunately for me, I live in the most convenient location of arguably one of the most convenient towns in New Jersey.  I live <10 minutes from every major retailer, Wegmans and Korean grocery shopping and restaurants; 5 minutes from a decent mall, 15 minutes from a nicer mall, and 25 minutes from a "baller" mall.  Oh, and Uniqlo just opened up in 2 of those malls.  Now that I'm somewhat nap-training Charlie, I make a field trip during his 2nd nap.  Today, I went to HomeGoods.  Yesterday, I went to Target.  Friday, I went to Nordstroms and learned that it was their half-yearly women's and kids sale.  Gap keeps giving me 40% off everything.  I double-stacked coupon codes at Piperlime and got $260 worth of stuff for only $60.  My co-worker gave me the Friends and Family coupon for PB Kids.  Restoration Hardware and Bloomingdales just had their Friends and Family sales.  Oh, and did I mention that Uniqlo opened up in 2 locations near me?

Aside from the food shopping, all of this "window shopping" and sales alerts have got me spending more than I did when I was actually going to work.  I don't actually shop every time there's a sale, but I definitely am tempted to buy more stuff just because it's on sale!  I used to be a bit of a sale-aholic before having kids, but once I had kids, I somewhat lost interest in shopping unless it was for food or for the kids (my mom calls it "maturity").  And it doesn't help (or perhaps it does) that I'm still getting a full-time paycheck.  But now that I'm at home, I feel like retailers are coming at me!  Hey, welcome to the SAHM world!  We have a sale so come spend your money here!  After all, you deserve a little retail therapy!  Even though I've been spending a bit more than usual, I feel like it's mostly been constructive spending.  Perhaps it feels like I'm shopping more since I actually have the time to get things that I've always been meaning to get,  like flannel sheets and a nightstand for Logan's room, picture frames for new family photos, fall and winter sweaters for Logan, a bigger diaper bag, a new hutch for the dining room, black ankle socks and stretchy transitional pieces for me as I slowly start to lose the baby weight, more Heat-tech shirts for Charles (the last 3 things were all from Uniqlo).  These purchases don't sound too bad, right?  When I was working, I typically did all of this discretionary shopping online if I had a lucky few minutes during mental breaks...or I just didn't buy them at all.  Is this what all SAHMs do?  I doubt it.  Since I'm a WSAHM (meaning, I'm a temporary SAHM), I'm not making any effort to join any mommy groups to make new local friends or sign up for baby classes at my local Gymboree.  I'd rather have a relationship with my American Express card.  Just kidding, sort of.

I actually had a conversation with my father-in-law about me being an expensive WSAHM.  He laughed and told me I was truly living the life as "Mrs. Chang" (my mother-in-law has always been an expensive SAHM).  The husband and I (and my father-in-law!) agreed that it's better for our bank account and my social life if I return to work in February when my leave ends.  From now on, I'm focusing more of my energy on reorganizing rooms and cleaning out stuff in our house.  It's therapeutic, something I likely will never do once I return to work, and way cheaper.  Too bad I don't get Amex points for it though.

Tangent: Uniqlo has been my savior during these post-baby days.

 This Heat Tech lounge dress is like wearing a toasty cloud.  Winter must-have for only $30.

 Post-pregnancy magic pants.  Stretchy denim leggings that come in S/M/L with an ahjumah-style elastic waist band (which I shamelessly love).  The best part?  Only $20.

having a baby is "easy": by amy

When is the last time you had Apple & Eve apple juice on the rocks?  Like, a lot of rocks.  Like, filled to the brim-rocks.  It is my most favorite beverage over the past three months.  It is icy heaven in my mouth that reprieves me from the awful "all-day" sickness that I've endured over the past few weeks.  Yes, I'm pregnant.  Yes, it's worse than the first time.  And you are my witness-- I am not doing this again!  Two and done!  Snip, snip, honey!  Snip, snip!  (Actually, I think it's done in a very quick laser/orthoscopic procedure now...)

OK back to the topic at hand:

Marissa Mayer's been back in the news lately because she recently crushed all other working moms' dreams of easily managing a working mom life by mandating that all employees come into the office EVERY DAY, or else, you can kiss your job goodbye.  No more working from home.  Although a bit extreme, I can understand why she's doing it-- she's doing it for the betterment of Yahoo!  That's why she's CEO.  She wants her employees to be Google-like-- all-in or go-home.  Yahoo! is pretty far behind Google in revenues, so she's trying to increase productivity and weed out anyone who's not all-in.  But it sure does suck for working parents!

Marissa was also in the news last year for announcing her pregnancy right after taking on the CEO position and a few months after giving birth, saying that "The baby's been way easier than everyone made it out to be."  My first reaction was BULLS@&T.  You can catch the interview here: http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2012/11/28/yahoos-mayer-on-god-family-and-yahoo/

But then, I thought about it.  I'm not trying to be a hater, really.  Maybe it has been "easy" for her.  The woman went back to work after just two weeks.  I remember two weeks with the newborn felt like two months!  So to me, it sounds like she escaped when she could!  Let's make an assumption here that since she's pretty loaded (pretty safe assumption, right?).  With her wealth and responsibilities, she probably has some kind of help at home-- meals for the family are probably taken care of;  her house and laundry are probably more frequently cleaned than the average new-mommy's.  Given that many commercial daycares don't take two-week old babies, let's also assume she has a full-time nanny.  And apparently, she has a nursery next to her office at Yahoo!  (which is...convenient, I guess...?  Seems counter-productive to me).  So, given all of these luxuries, then yes, "the baby's been easy!"  And, if she's not nursing/pumping, then it's even EASIER!  (because I remember that being a turning point for me).  So, good for her-- she's managed to balance her work and mommy lives and make it fun AND easy.  Yeah, I'm kinda jealous.

She's also 37 years old.  Why does that matter?  It just means that she's invested a lot of her life in her career, and once you invest that much time into a career (particularly one that you truly love and perhaps defines you), you are more likely to push off baby-making (btw, there's no "right" time for it) and do what you can/afford to make both work to your satisfaction.  A managing director in my office is proof of it.  She had kids later in life after pursuing her graduate degree and travelling the world.  She makes a ton of money (opportunity cost of staying at home doesn't look too attractive); she loves her job; she still travels the world all the time; she has a full-time nanny;  and she's happy.  I will admit that I don't see her as my working-mom role model, but it works for her, so more power to her.

So back to Marissa.  A lot of women are hating on her because of her "my baby is easy" comment, but you know what?  Maybe she's just really happy with her situation.  Can't hate on that.  I think she could've worked on her delivery, though.  She could've at least tried to justify it by mentioning that it was somewhat hard, tiring, or she had a lot of help, or...something!  Or at least not making it SOUND like it's been really that easy, like she's rubbing it in our faces!  If you don't know what I'm talking about-- watch the interview.

Random plug!
Support Hurricane Sandy victims and Newtown, CT by buying a t-shirt and/or tote bag, designed by Jean!  $20 for a t-shirt (RIDICULOUSLY super-soft and stretchy shirts that will last a LONG time) / $10 for a tote bag.  Leave a comment if you'd like to order one!

separation anxiety (the other way around) : by amy

Last week was my second time travelling for work since I came back from maternity leave.  The first time, I was away for 2 nights and frankly, sort of looked forward to the break from mommy-duties.  This time, I was away for nearly a week and in another country.  The trip came right after our extended trip to California, so I didn't feel mentally or emotionally prepared.  I also just spent 12 straight days with Logan (which, aside from the 1st day, were glorious), which was the longest time I ever spent with Logan since maternity leave.  I admit that I liked it...a lot.  Logan's toddler months are more tiring but definitely more fun than his newborn months when I was home with him.

So, when Monday morning arrived, I couldn't help but tear up as I picked Logan up from his crib.  I was so used to being with him all day/night from vacation, and now I wouldn't be able to see him for 5 nights.  How was I going to get through the week??

I was very unhappy to leave that day, but this is what made the trip a little more bearable:

1. Business class.  Unlimited booze, movies and ice cream sundaes can definitely ease the mental stress.
2. Non-stop work.  I was 6 hours ahead of US Eastern, so I ended up working "double-shifts" each day.  I would just keep myself occupied all day and night to max out my productivity.  After dinner, I'd keep working in my hotel room, but this was when I got a chance to...
3. FaceTime.  Seriously, what did travelling parents do before FaceTime??  Thank you, Steve Jobs.

I spoke with a few working dads on my team about how they deal with the time away from home.  Most of them consider the travel to be a nice break from the kids (but they still miss their kids).  They call, FaceTime or Skype every night or when they can after business activities are over.  One dad told me that he once he's home for 3 weeks, he's typically itching to travel again and get out of the house because he needs a "break" from the kids and stuff going on at home.  While I was a little surprised to hear that, I sort of empathized.  Travelling for work can be pretty posh.  You are able to regain and enjoy a part of your pre-parent self, such as adult and intellectually challenging conversations over late-night drinks, or indulge in (free) extravagant business dinners, or catch up on movies on the plane-- the non-cartoon/PG13 ones that you're forced to watch with the kids.  You have time to get up in the morning and work out because you don't need to worry about waking/feeding/dressing the kids and rushing them out the door.

These men have stay-at-home wives ("SAHW"), so they don't always feel guilty about leaving their kids alone with their wives for a few days-- this is what the SAHW signed up for.  I felt guilty leaving Logan with the husband and mother-in-law all week (though the husband's office was closed all week due to the hurricane, so it kind of worked out).  But in the end, everything worked out.  Logan welcomed me with a big happy hug...which made me cry again.

How do you working/travelling parents deal with the separation from your kids?

separation : by jean

I'm sitting in a cafe enjoying an iced coffee and a chocolate croissant waiting for 5 o'clock to come around.  Miles is at his new daycare center for 2 hours today before starting full time next week.  It's a weird feeling to be by myself without Miles, waiting for time to go by instead of racing home.

I got a job.  Well, two jobs.  One is a freelance gig that will last for 5 weeks, 4 days a week.  Another is a part time gig that will for now be 1 day a week for the first 5 weeks and then become 2-3 days a week thereafter.  Eventually it will turn into a full time position, which means I will be a legit full-time working mom and no longer be collecting unemployment (read about Amy's experience and about that article!).

I went in for the interviews on Wednesday and got the good news on Thursday that I'd be starting on Monday.  I was so excited but terrified at the same time.  Daycare?  Nanny?  Nanny-share?  Yikes!  I immediately started calling around the daycare centers within a 5 block radius to our apartment.  I had already visited places before so I knew my top choices, but every place was full.  I even called places that were further away and not ideal, but I was desperate.  I started thinking about nanny-shares but knew I didn't really have enough time to set something up right away.  A friend of ours had a nanny that had watched a Miles a few times who was available but she was an expensive option.  I also wanted him to be with other kids so a private nanny wasn't necessarily the best solution for the long term.

I panicked.  I put up a posting on Park Slope Parents, a great resource for parents who live in Park Slope.  Someone (who now is my savior) gave me information about a daycare a little further away.  She told me it wasn't really advertised-- more of a word-of-mouth type of place. "Park Slope's best kept secret" is what she said.  The woman said she didn't have family nearby, so the daycare center became a part of her family.  She even had her daughter stay there for a few nights when she was in labor with her son.  I had to check it out.  When I walked inside, I felt like I was at a relative's house. Park Slope has a lot of home daycare centers where they rent an apartment to run a daycare center, but this was actually someone's home.  I met two other moms while I was there who came to pick up their daughters.  One had her daughter going there since she was 2 months old (and she is now 2 years old).  She said it was the best decision she ever made.  The caretakers were warm and friendly, and the kids were very happy.  The kids got hugs and kisses before they left.  I spoke to 3 moms, and they all used the same word: family.  That was reassuring.

So it's been about an hour since I dropped him off for his 2-hour stint.  I decided to call and check in.  They said he cried a few times but only for a minute and that he's ok right now.  He just prefers to be held at the moment.  I know he's in good hands and that he'll be fine, but man, it's nerve wrecking!  I'm not even nervous about the two new jobs I am starting next week because I'm so nervous about how Miles will be.   My friend says that's called parenting.   I guess I am really a parent.

By the time I publish this post, it will have been Day 3 for Miles at daycare.  Hopefully I will have survived!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Update!  Today is Miles' third day at daycare.  I've been calling once a day just to check in.  He's been taking all of his naps, he plays really well, and he has adjusted really quickly so I have nothing to worry about.  I guess he's doing great, but it's been really sad only being able to see him for a couple of hours everyday.  This is constant struggle for working moms (and dads) everywhere. :(

It's been nice to go back to work and interact with adults, but it really sucks only being able to see Miles for a few hours a day  (Did I already say that?  Like just two sentences ago?  Yeah, I know.  It really sucks.)   Does it have to be this way?  Ugh!  Is there a profession where you can really balance work and life better?

Have you heard?  Yahoo! hired their new CEO.  She's 6 months pregnant.  It's a boy.  It'll be interesting to see how she will juggle her new role as a CEO-mom.

In the meantime, how do you moms (and dads) do it?  How do you balance it all?  Are you like me and look through your baby's pics and videos randomly throughout the day?

"Why Women Still Can't Have It All" : by jean

it's all the buzz!
ann-marie slaughter writes in the atlantic magazine's july/august issue talks about "why women still can't have it all."

it's a GREAT (long) article, but totally worth the long read.  here's some more buzz if you are interested:

• washington post: in the atlantic's cover story on why women still can't have it all, a quieter but more powerful takeaway
• boston: 'why women still can't have it all'-do you think this is true?
• nytimes: elite women put a new spin on work-life debate
• nytimes: talking about why women can't have it all
• forbes: women can't have it all, but maybe no one can
• huffingtonpost: why women shouldn't want to have it all
• huffingtonpost: why one woman reached the top, then left
• villagevoice: 'why women still can't have it all:' whats wrong with sticking a baby in a briefcase?

it's a loaded topic and seems to be the perfect post after amy's super-working-mom status (how coincidental!)

i got laid off around when miles was 2 months old.  i was getting nervous to go back to my day-to-day with miles in the equation but once i got the call, i was devastated.  i felt lost, hopeless, etc.  it didn't help that my hormones were still out of whack too!  i'm always the first to say my job doesn't define me but it does define a large part of who i am.  but for now, i have no choice but to be a SAHM, (stay-at-home-mom).

thank goodness for my mom who was staying with us at the time.  she constantly reminded me that maybe it's for the best.  i'll never get this time with miles again, and i know i'll find a job eventually.  her encouragement helped me truly be grateful for the extra time i was going to have by staying home.

i think highly of moms who choose to put a hold or leave their careers to be a SAHM, but i don't think that's me.  even if we could live off of one income, and as much as i don't want to miss any moments with miles, a part of me misses being back at work.  is it OK that i feel this way?  does it make me a worse mother that i don't want to be a SAHM?  (according to forbes.com, SAHMs should earn $115,000!! read about that here.)

in the end, i want it all.  i want the job that allows me to continue to be successful in my career, but i also want to be a great mom for miles.  i also want to go to yoga at least twice a week, have time to cook dinner, and do something creative for myself.  how can i have it all?  

i'm starting to realize more and more that you have to be able to sacrifice SOMETHING.  that "something" is different for everyone.  it's the career for some.  it's yoga for others ;).  for me, and for my life right now, i'm willing to sacrifice taking on the perfect job if it doesn't allow me to be home at a decent time to be with miles.  would i have still thought this if i hadn't gotten laid off?  probably not.  would i have thought this if i hadn't had miles?  definitely not (sorry, husband!).  i think everything happens for a reason.

and what about the dads?  (this may have to be a whole other post later on!)  do men think about all of this too once they have a baby?  or are we the only ones having all kinds of questions and thoughts in our heads?

slaughter writes:
Here I step onto treacherous ground, mined with stereotypes. From years of conversations and observations, however, I’ve come to believe that men and women respond quite differently when problems at home force them to recognize that their absence is hurting a child, or at least that their presence would likely help. I do not believe fathers love their children any less than mothers do, but men do seem more likely to choose their job at a cost to their family, while women seem more likely to  choose their family at a cost to their job. 

according to slaughter, it seems like we can't have it all because we are wired differently. we just can't help it.

what do you think?  can we be an umma AND an "etc." successfully?

super-working-mom status? : by amy

I have this personal view that if able, my husband and I should contribute to raising the family in equal ways.  So, when it comes to money, I don't feel comfortable if my husband is the only one working-- I feel like it it's too much of a burden for him to be the only one generating income.  I also feel guilty spending money if I'm not contributing to the income pool.  I know that may sound a little ridiculous.  Jean reminds me that husband/wife can have different roles in the family and the wife shouldn't feel guilty depending on the husband's income if she chooses to stay home w/the kids, but I don't want my husband to feel like it's only his responsibility to support us financially.  That's just me.

That being said, I always pictured myself as a working mom.  I can't say I really understand what a Stay At Home Mom's ("SAHM") life looks like.  My mom has worked full-time her entire life and had a home-cooked dinner on the table every night.  She also managed to chauffeur me to my violin lessons, orchestra rehearsals, gymnastics and ballet lessons (she later admitted she was thankful she only had one child).   Oh yeah, and she's an immigrant so she only had to leave her home country, become fluent in a new language, take board exams and find a job.  So, if she could do all this, what's my excuse?  This sums up how I view my mom today (though I can't say I felt this way before I had a kid!):

Do I want to be a super-working-mom?  Yes!  But motherhood has been a humbling experience.  I went back to work at 4 months.  Honestly, a part of me wanted to go back to work at 2 months because the office seemed like a vacation compared to what I was dealing with at home.  Being a SAHM is pretty hard!  Once I returned to work life got exponentially busier.  I was still breastfeeding, so I had to use the "wellness room" at work 2 times a day.

At least this lady had her own office!  The wellness room at work was shared with all pumping moms, so sometimes I'd go to pump but someone else is using it.  Getting up from my desk 2 times a day to pump (40-45 min. each session) was a total distraction and yielded less productivity (both milk and work).  Here was my schedule while I nursed/pumped:

5:30am: wake up and get ready for work
6:00am: wake up Logan and start nursing
7:00am: put everything in the car and one last diaper-change
7:15am: leave for babysitter's house (on MWF) or in-laws pick up Logan, or my mom sleeps over
7:50am: arrive at babysitter's house.  Play for 20 minutes.
8:15 - 4:30pm: work (pump at around 10am, 3pm); I work late on T/Th (daddy picks up Logan at in-laws' or relieves my mom of duty at home)
4:45pm: arrive at babysitter's house, discuss Logan's day
5:10pm: pick up Logan and go home
5:45pm: bath time
6:10pm: last bottle before sleeping (we always gave him formula for his last bottle)
6:30pm: Logan's bedtime
6:30 - 7:00pm: clean ridiculous amounts of pump parts, bottle parts, store milk, pack for next day
7:00 - 7:30pm: eat dinner
7:30 - 8:00pm: shower
8:00 - 8:45pm: pump, store milk, wash pump parts
9:00 - 9:20pm: FREE TIME
9:30pm: mommy's bed time

Needless to say, the schedule got a lot easier once I stopped nursing/pumping, which was at 7.5 months.  It also got easier once Logan started going to bed a little later (he goes to bed at 7:15-7:30pm now).  When I returned to work, the little time I had with Logan was the best :) (and still is!).  I feel like he is able to experience the best of me everyday, plus I feel more balance in my life, making me a happier mom/wife at home.  I wish I had a few extra hours with him each day, but I'm still happy with my current arrangement.  I sometimes feel like this in the morning:

I have to say that my managers have been really understanding throughout all this, which was a bit of a surprise.  I work in the finance industry, which means long hours and a male-dominated office.  The women in my office either have full time nannies or grown kids.  There were two other new moms ahead of me who didn't exactly have the best experiences, so I didn't have high expectations.  I'm thankful for being able to work full-time with a reasonable schedule, but I can't imagine what it will be like once I have another kid, or once Logan starts doing activities.  I'll tell you when I get there.  Maybe one day I'll achieve super-working-mom status!  I think I may be open to accepting super-part-time-working-mom status too...or maybe even regular super-mom status!  Just maybe!  We shall see.

How are you other working mamas doing it?