That being said, I always pictured myself as a working mom. I can't say I really understand what a Stay At Home Mom's ("SAHM") life looks like. My mom has worked full-time her entire life and had a home-cooked dinner on the table every night. She also managed to chauffeur me to my violin lessons, orchestra rehearsals, gymnastics and ballet lessons (she later admitted she was thankful she only had one child). Oh yeah, and she's an immigrant so she only had to leave her home country, become fluent in a new language, take board exams and find a job. So, if she could do all this, what's my excuse? This sums up how I view my mom today (though I can't say I felt this way before I had a kid!):
Do I want to be a super-working-mom? Yes! But motherhood has been a humbling experience. I went back to work at 4 months. Honestly, a part of me wanted to go back to work at 2 months because the office seemed like a vacation compared to what I was dealing with at home. Being a SAHM is pretty hard! Once I returned to work life got exponentially busier. I was still breastfeeding, so I had to use the "wellness room" at work 2 times a day.
At least this lady had her own office! The wellness room at work was shared with all pumping moms, so sometimes I'd go to pump but someone else is using it. Getting up from my desk 2 times a day to pump (40-45 min. each session) was a total distraction and yielded less productivity (both milk and work). Here was my schedule while I nursed/pumped:
5:30am: wake up and get ready for work
6:00am: wake up Logan and start nursing
7:00am: put everything in the car and one last diaper-change
7:15am: leave for babysitter's house (on MWF) or in-laws pick up Logan, or my mom sleeps over
7:50am: arrive at babysitter's house. Play for 20 minutes.
8:15 - 4:30pm: work (pump at around 10am, 3pm); I work late on T/Th (daddy picks up Logan at in-laws' or relieves my mom of duty at home)
4:45pm: arrive at babysitter's house, discuss Logan's day
5:10pm: pick up Logan and go home
5:45pm: bath time
6:10pm: last bottle before sleeping (we always gave him formula for his last bottle)
6:30pm: Logan's bedtime
6:30 - 7:00pm: clean ridiculous amounts of pump parts, bottle parts, store milk, pack for next day
7:00 - 7:30pm: eat dinner
7:30 - 8:00pm: shower
8:00 - 8:45pm: pump, store milk, wash pump parts
9:00 - 9:20pm: FREE TIME
9:30pm: mommy's bed time
Needless to say, the schedule got a lot easier once I stopped nursing/pumping, which was at 7.5 months. It also got easier once Logan started going to bed a little later (he goes to bed at 7:15-7:30pm now). When I returned to work, the little time I had with Logan was the best :) (and still is!). I feel like he is able to experience the best of me everyday, plus I feel more balance in my life, making me a happier mom/wife at home. I wish I had a few extra hours with him each day, but I'm still happy with my current arrangement. I sometimes feel like this in the morning:
I have to say that my managers have been really understanding throughout all this, which was a bit of a surprise. I work in the finance industry, which means long hours and a male-dominated office. The women in my office either have full time nannies or grown kids. There were two other new moms ahead of me who didn't exactly have the best experiences, so I didn't have high expectations. I'm thankful for being able to work full-time with a reasonable schedule, but I can't imagine what it will be like once I have another kid, or once Logan starts doing activities. I'll tell you when I get there. Maybe one day I'll achieve super-working-mom status! I think I may be open to accepting super-part-time-working-mom status too...or maybe even regular super-mom status! Just maybe! We shall see.
How are you other working mamas doing it?
I have to say that when my three were little (they are now 18, 15 and 10) it was very hard and sometimes I contemplated not working. When my middle one was 18 months old, I went to four days a week. It has made a HUGE difference in their lives and in mine. That one day allows you to do "errandy" stuff, school stuff, doctor's, etc. It can be tricky because I always felt (and still feel) that I should respond to work emails and phone calls when I can on that day off. Worth it though at work, for they feel I am still in "the game."
ReplyDeleteNow that my children are older, I am happy I am still working as I see friends struggling with what their next role will be as their children have grown.
I wish I could go to work 4 days a week, but my group won't allow it for the reason you mentioned-- to be in "the game." I do all of my chores and errands on the weekends (with baby in tow!) and take days off for doctor visits. I may one day choose a different career path, but I'm finding it hard to really plan anything in my life these days!
DeleteMy mother in law has been a SAHM her entire life. I have to say that her life looks to be pretty awesome (both of her kids are grown and married). Lunches, shopping, cooking, chilling, babysitting her grandson one a week. I think I would have an identity crisis after about a month, but she seems to be handling it quite fine!
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!