It was kind of funny because just 2 weeks ago, my husband and I were talking about ways to discipline Logan. Do we spank? If so, when? We thought we'd likely never have to touch him since he bursts into tears any time my husband disciplines him (and that's just with the "look" or a stern Logan, NO, in his super-deep voice). I think he reacts that way because he sees dad as the "fun" one and not the one that's supposed to say "no." When I discipline him, he's typically not happy but cries only occasionally. Anyway, so during this discussion, my husband says, we're definitely not doing any of that 'time-out' nonsense. He wasn't a believer in time-out. Well, what else are you going to do? Beat your 20 month old with the rice spoon? No, I don't think so.
So Logan decided it would be fun to repeatedly jump off of the staircase (from the first step). After the 10th time, we decided this jumping can only happen outside with our supervision. So after repeated Logan, NO! and no jumping in the house!, even my husband was desperate to try anything to discipline the kid, so we pulled the time-out card. Logan's reaction? A mischievous smile, and a GO! as he jumped off the step.
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| "GO!" |
So, we strapped him to the high chair, took him to the adjacent library (which was kind of dark), and had him face the wall for 1 minute.
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| Time out! |
He whined the entire time, but no tears. Did it work? Not exactly. He ran back to the staircase, but stopped abruptly after the husband called his name. This was Logan's chance to learn. He knew something was up-- he was doing something wrong. Logan, if you jump off one more time, you are going to time-out again. I mean it. Logan's reaction? [thinking about it]....GO! *jump*. *sigh* He failed. So back on the high chair he went, now kicking, screaming, with his body refusing to sit up in the chair. After finally strapping in the buckles, we had him face the wall again for another minute. This time, he wailed, sobbed and screamed in high pitches for the entire minute. He was a snotty, sweaty mess. We hugged and kissed him, but the screaming didn't stop. We tried to distract him with toys, but he still screamed.
But guess what? The next morning, he faced that notorious step....and he STEPPED down! We applauded, praised and thanked him for listening. The time-out worked!! Somehow, we felt like "successful" parents. Aside from providing for his needs and loving him, we actually influenced how he behaved! This probably sounds ridiculous to you, but it really was a "a-ha!" moment for us.
So, the husband is now a believer in time-out. Logan now knows what time-out is. Now the problem is the new day care we're thinking of taking Logan to doesn't call it "time-out"-- they call it the "thinking chair." What a freaking euphemism.
